Bringing Home Ellie

More New Photos

2008-08-21T11:35:00.001-07:00

Holly is my new best friend!!! Today when I opened my email there were some more new photos of The Princess lying in her crib. They are below. For my feelings and thoughts for today's photos, visit my other blog. Holly's son is in this room as well. If I understand correctly, they are "next door crib neighbors".

Soon, little Ms. Ellie. I'll be there, soon -- 50 days.

New Photo!!

2008-08-18T10:53:00.000-07:00

With much appreciation and thanks to Holly who is currently in Kyrgyzstan meeting her son, I have a new photo of "The Princess". In all her glory, here she is:

I think she might have been moved to the "bigger" baby room because this is most definitely not the configuration of the room that she was in when she was in the tiny baby room. Another mom said this looks like the bigger baby room. I think they get moved there when they are 10 pounds, so that would be a blessing to know that she has grown more. She looks bigger to me. Every time I see a new photo of her I have to stare and compare with other photos of her to make sure it is her. She changes so much, but her sweet little lips always are a give away.

My heart longs to be there to get her. I visualize going back to the orphanage and getting her and never having to let her go again. I can imagine the car ride back to the hotel where I hold her and just stare at her, trying to memorize all her features and every sight, smell and sound of this event so I can tell her about it in years to come. I visualize getting off the plane in Nashville to family and friends who have waited so long with us for this day and the celebration we will have knowing that Ellie is finally home. Thank goodness my friend Jennifer is going so that I will have someone to capture the photos and videos for me and help me remember it all because I will be absolutely worthless. Kevin was the one who did that for us last time.

I can't wait to show Joshua when I get him from school today.

Soon, baby girl -- 53 days.

It's Official - she is our daughter!!!

2008-08-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

After three long (repeat LONG) years of waiting for the child that God called us to adopt, we are so happy to report that Ellie Aimana Lois Elisabeth Latham cleared the court system in Tokmok, Kyrgyzstan and has become our daughter. So very, very exciting for us!!!

We are told to expect to return for pick up of our daughter on 10/12 (pick up on 10/14). I continue to visualize leaving the orphanage with her. It's so overwhelming for me to think of!!! It just seems like it's not real. My mom and I have both agreed that it just doesn't seem real yet. I get moments of unbelievable giddiness followed by amazing wonder and fear of it all!!!

Thank you to SO MANY who have supported us/carried us through this journey: family, old friends, new friends, friends we've never met in person, but know so well online. We would not have wanted to make this journey without you. I'm so glad that God put us together as a family: Kevin, me, Josh and Ellie. What a grand adventure we are all going to have!!

Blessings and many, many thanks to God -- the giver of all things.

Video of Ellie

2008-07-26T12:01:00.001-07:00

During my trip to Macon, I heard the Aerosmith song, "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and thought how perfect it described how I felt while we were in Kyrgyzstan visiting Ellie. So, I came, put together a video, added the song and Voila!! I hope you enjoy it. When court is finished, I want to post it on my regular blog to introduce our daughter to those who have not been able to see her yet.

I've Decided ...

2008-07-15T21:18:00.000-07:00

.... that in order to give myself SOME sort of anticipation that I am setting the date that we will pick up Ellie to be September 9. This is not a date I have been told or that anyone has indicated will happen, BUT, if the judge returns from vacation on July 26 (as we are told he will) and hears our case that week (we are hopeful), then 30 days past that, plus 10 more for paperwork processing and a Tuesday pick up (as they seem to be for AO), puts me at September 9.

The last time I decided when I wanted to travel, it worked out, so that's what I'm doing this time.

It is 56 days away -- exactly eight weeks from today.

So, I have things to do and I'm trying to get them done. Today I picked up a couple of bottles. We are going to use disposable liners while we are there to save in trying to sterilize bottles and all, so I got that taken care of. I want to use the Born Free bottles when we get home, but I don't want to deal with that there. I've gotten a pack of diapers. Even though we will primarily use cloth, we will use some disposables as well.

Kevin has done a LOT to the office; we are trying to organize like crazy.

I am leaving for yet one more project next week.

We are about to begin buying school supplies as school starts back full time August 11.

I've also been encouraged by God who has laid the following on my heart. Ellie is His child. He formed and created her and her life belongs to Him. He is allowing me to be a part of it for whatever period He allows. He will take very good care of her while I am not there. And because of this, I am ok with whenever He wants us to get her. I know that He takes much better care of my life than I do and He will take good care of her and I don't need to worry. It is a hard decision to make, but it's what faith is all about. The Bible tells us faith is the SUBSTANCE of things HOPED FOR, the EVIDENCE of things NOT SEEN. And I have a choice to trust the One who made her and who chose me to be one of her moms. I am choosing to trust Him.

I will go when He is ready for me to -- but in the meantime, I'm just setting my goal date. *smile* Will I be disappointed if that's not the date -- yes, I'm sure I will. But, would I be surprised if it came earlier -- sure! So, it will be a target and we'll see how close we get!

Has Everyone Lost Their Minds?

2008-07-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to have to go on adoption "hiatus". I truly do. The last few days have just wrecked heck on my nerves. We were supposed to find out this week if Ellie's case would be heard in court. If so, our 30 day wait would start and then, when complete, a final decree would be issued and ten days later we could pick her up. On Tuesday I was on pins and needles because court was likely to be Tuesday or Wednesday and they are a half a day ahead of us.

THEN we got an email stating the judge that would hear the case was ill and that the families slated to travel to pick up their kiddos would not be going as he had not signed some documents they needed to pick them up. The coordinator had asked if she could bring them by his house and was told no. No cases went to court and it would likely be next week.

THEN the next day (Wednesday), I heard from another source that he was not sick but on vacation and had not returned and would not return until the end of July and so there was no way we would return prior to early/middle September.

TODAY I have heard that the judge is "missing" and no one seems to know where he is and his wife won't tell either.

When I talked with Joyce at our agency today I was told that our file was with the coordinator who was taking it with the other files to be heard next week -- assuming the judge returns to work. She did not comment on whether he was sick, on vacation or missing. She could not confirm that we will or will not have court next week.

OK... so, I know this is a different culture and that people take vacations. I'm fine with that, but WHERE is the breakdown in information coming from? We are all adults -- can someone not just say, "Hey, he's ______ (fill in what ever is appropriate) and won't be back until ______. Your case is scheduled to be heard on ______." Seems simple, doesn't it? Oh well. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it except wait and pray really hard. I'd ask you to pray really hard as well. This judge's action is affecting the lives of 10 children who are stuck in an orphanage because he isn't back at work where folks thought he would be. And, while I hope he is ok and nothing has happened to him, I am a bit frustrated that no one can say what he's doing and when he will return to work. With this type of work policy, I think maybe I should go to work there.

So, yes, I'm whining, complaining and griping. I'm tired and probably should go to bed and let it all go. It's just hard knowing that she is there and we are here and that she needs to be here with us.

Maybe tomorrow will allow me to resume my positive thinking methods.

New Photos

2008-07-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

My "online friend" Suzanne was just in Tokmok visiting her sweet little pumpkin and was able to get a couple of new photos of The Princess. Many people have asked why I haven't posted them. Read on the next post and you'll understand why. I've been busy with many things, including Josh's surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids, along with working on adoption related things and trying to keep up with my regular work. So.... without delay, here is The Princess, now fondly known at our house as "Chipmunk Jaws". Isn't she the most beautiful baby girl you've ever seen?? Suzanne's notes say that she is growing and that she is eating well. Well, we can see that in these photos, can't we?

Happy 3 Month Birthday to The Princess

2008-06-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

Even though it is 10:00 p.m., here in the states, it is tomorrow in Kyrgyzstan and our Ellie has just turned three months old -- legally able to go to court now. I spend a lot of time wondering about her and today is no different. At her two month birthday, Kevin took video of Josh and I singing Happy Birthday to her. Today, there will be no one to sing to her. We will also miss the four month birthday singing as well. Our comfort is in knowing that hopefully we will not miss anymore of them.

So, as I sit here, I sing a quiet version of Happy Birthday to Ellie-belly, The Princess and hope that today there is a breeze to cool her sweat, a warm bottle to fill her tummy, someone to hold her and possibly take her for a walk outside, someone to sing to her, someone to change her when she is wet or dirty, a pacifier to soothe her and a moment in her heart where God reminds her that the wait time is drawing shorter and soon -- very, very soon == her mommy and daddy will be back to get her.

How Did I Get it All Wrong?

2008-06-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

It's interesting that after we found out Ellie was sick (which she isn't), and had to turn down the referral, I spent a long time wondering how in the world I got God's messages so wrong. I said that to my Sunday school teachers this week when we were talking about our newest development in finding out she does not have a disease and will be able to come home with us. I said, "I was struggling with God because I felt so certain that His messages to me were so clear and that, without a doubt, this was our daughter." My soul's biggest problem was, "How did I get it all wrong?"

I wonder, in life, if sometimes we miss the signs God is sending our way or if we mis-interpret them into what we want them to be? I have continued to struggle with that portion of what happened with Ellie's situation. I don't struggle in knowing that she IS our daughter. I think we are SO VERY clear on that. Her story is one that is nothing short of miraculous. I've just been reading back through this blog and I see references to occurrences where I note that this is definitely a sign from God that He has fulfilled a promise to us (our rainbow), or the dream I had the night she was born. I had absolutely no doubt at that time that it was a clear communication to me. I still don't have doubt about those things, but I wonder how many things we miss that He sends our way -- or worse, how many things we get wrong. It has just disturbed me and was something I wanted to share in case others have input they would like to share.

But, to clear up any doubts you might have after reading this, we KNOW this little Princess is OUR daughter - hand picked from God for our family.

"The Princess" is NOT sick and is coming HOME!

2008-06-21T12:07:00.000-07:00

This is a cross post from my other blog:

Do you know how WONDERFUL it feels to write that title???

O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good;
For His loving kindness is everlasting.
I Chronicles 16:34 and Psalms 118:1 and Psalms 118:29 and Jeremiah 33:11

As I was researching to find the verse that fit how GOOD our God is, I found it interesting that in three places in the Bible the SAME words are used to convey the goodness of God. I think it should be no surprise that this statement should be written by people through the ages and I am so glad to be able to share that information with you all today. For those of you who have shared with me (and there have been many) that your faith is not my faith, I do not make light of your faith and your belief, but let me share that the God that I serve, love and worship is ONE MIGHTY BIG GOD who loves me a whole lot. My wish is that everyone could experience the magnitude, the love and the grace of my God.

As you all know and have followed along, we were given a referral of a BEAUTIFUL little one and travelled to Tokmok to visit with her and came to find out that she allegedly had a medical condition that we felt was way beyond our ability to handle. Through prayer and soul searching and with great heartbreak, we decided to turn down our referral and wait for another one. We came home and began moving on with our lives. And, actually, I had a conversation with my preacher that I was a bit disturbed that I wasn't more upset about this than I was.

On Wednesday this week, I was out with my son, my two nieces and my mother-in-law after we had taken the kids to see the free movies in Nashville. We had stopped at McDonalds and gone to the park. I noticed I had a voicemail on my phone and checked to see who it was. It was our agency calling and asking me to call back. I was a bit taken aback as I was not expecting to hear from them until after July 7. I called back and talked with Brent who told me that they had had the records reviewed by a very well-known, well-respected doctor who specializes in that medical condition and who is an international adoption doctor and that she said our little one did not have this issue. I stood, silenced for a bit. I asked if we could have an international adoption doctor from our area review the files and conference with the agency and orphanage doctor (who is in town, luckily) and he said he would facilitate making that happen if I could get it together by Thursday or Friday (no pressure -- one day!). The conversation with the agency was a long one and I walked away with wounds ripped back open and the pain all fresh and new. I called Kevin, who was out in the field behind a drill rig and unreachable -- JUST MY LUCK.

After I got home, I managed to make contact with Vanderbilt's International Adoption Clinic, told my story, explained our situation and the urgency of quickness. Josh asked if we could go to the golf course for him to hit balls and I agreed so I could have some quiet time to ponder this information. I will not say that I was able to accept, agree or process this information right away. It was just too -- odd. I called and left a message with the doctor that our agency had talked with and asked if she would call me back as well.

I got NO calls back on Wednesday. Probably best as I was still just in a state of shock and confusion (as can be evidenced by the post that night). I didn't believe it and thought there must be some mistake. The waiting and soul and mind searching were so incredibly hard. To be back in this place I thought I was past and had left was really hard.

On Thursday, Josh had a doctor's appointment and we were getting our hair cut. I got calls back from the Vanderbilt doctor and got the conference call set up. She spent about 30 minutes going over the information I had sent her and about the condition and possibilities. After that, she was scheduled to make the conference call. While I was getting my hair cut (great timing, eh?) I got calls back from both the Vanderbilt doctor and the specialist. I spent at least an hour on the phone with the specialist and about 30-45 minutes on the phone with Vanderbilt with them both explaining everything in her file and how they both came to the same conclusions -- independently -- that she did not have the medical condition we were concerned about. They were, in fact, both more concerned with her prematurity and small size and growth than anything else. That is something that just doesn't concern me at all -- when she is home, she will be "fluffy" like the rest of us, I'm certain. However, we were asked to get new measurements to see if the little peanut was growing.

I didn't expect to get the new measurements until next week, but on Friday, I got a call from the agency with new measurements. I immediately called Vanderbilt to share them as I was expecting an additional call back from them between 1-2 after they had reviewed her photos. After that phone call with her and the information she shared, both Kevin and I agreed that we had no reservations accepting her referral.

SO..... long story short -- we are back in the adoption process!! We don't know exactly when we will return to pick her up. I know there are those who are returning mid-August and I am hopeful to be able to return with them. I am still waiting to see if they will be able to get the paperwork done in time for her to go to court the week the staff returns to Kyrgyzstan.

So much to do now -- arghhh!! :-) But, we are SO excited. God has returned our joy to us; He has given us back our daughter. What an incredible blessing -- what a miracle.

"The Princess" is coming home. Thank you, God!

Still not sure

2008-06-19T00:04:00.000-07:00

I'm still not sure what to do with this blog right now. My heart says, "Keep it and wait" and so I do. This is my first visit back to the site since we had to make "The Decision." For those of you who continue to stop by -- hoping for news. I suspect there might not be any here for a little bit. Thank you for continuing to care. We love you all!

Prayers Needed

2008-06-05T10:20:00.000-07:00

This is the hardest post I may have to write.

Our family has been dealt a devastating blow today and we request your prayers. We received test results today indicating the baby we had planned to adopt, our Ellie, has a medical issue that as a family we do not feel prepared to handle. We do not feel it is appropriate to expound more on that as it is her personal story and truly not ours to share. However, what is ours to share is the pain and loss we are feeling as we have decided that we are unable to accept the referral of this beautiful baby. We ask that you are supportive should you choose to leave a comment as we are not emotionally up to defending our decision at this point. We are emotionally not up to much. All three of us have sobbed and held one another through this grief that has felt immensely like a death. It is a death -- the death of the dream of our life with this precious child.

We did not make this decision lightly. We have considered our lives as a family and her life and how the two would inter-relate and have determined that we are just not able to parent her in the way she will require. We are broken.

In this brokenness, however, we are held up and together by the God who met us in that room with the test results. He was with me in the car on the way there as I prayed to be able to accept anything they might find. He has held us when we cried. I spent the afternoon reading the Bring the Rain blog and sobbing with her loss and her worship of God through it all. God reminded me through the one hour drive back from the orphanage of the verse He shared with the me other day today: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. I have searched for His purpose in this and have found that the "missionary work" our family might have been called to do during this two week period was to love on a sick little girl. I read, again on the Bring the Rain blog of her realization that Either You Do or You Don't (trust in God). God talked to me about this on our trip back today and through tears I admitted I do. I will trust Him. It is my choice. Does it make our pain less -- no, not really, but it does help me accept something I can't understand at all. It doesn't mean I don't question, "Why?". I surely do. It means that no matter what the answer to that question, I have to believe in His authority and superiority in making decisions for our lives.

We are in constant prayer for this little one -- that she gets the medical treatment she needs and hopefully finds a family who is more equipped to handle her needs.

Our agency is in the process of searching for another referral for us. We are unsure when this will happen. We do know that we will travel home as scheduled on Sunday. This has been especially hard on Josh. How do you explain this to a ten-year-old who was in love with a baby that should have been his sister? Life lessons like this one shouldn't have to be learned so early.

We appreciate your support of us at this time. We covet your prayers and understanding if we are a bit withdrawn for a while. We need just a little time to grieve.

Slow Day ...

2008-06-04T01:01:00.000-07:00

It was a slow picture day for Ellie-belly and the Lathams. She didn't do much other than sleep and eat and, as Kevin says, "How many pictures can you take of a sleeping baby?" So, here's a few, just so you all get your daily "fix". We only have a few that are really worth looking at today as they were blurry too.

Tomorrow, I'm going to try to walk around and get pictures of the orphanage and some video of it as well.

We did have to take a photo of our entire family to include to send to the judge so we got that today. There is a DIET in my future as soon as I come home -- right after my visit to the Cracker Barrel! :-)

We took some clothes for her today. The outfit she is wearing is a newborn size. It was too big. *sigh*

Josh is beginning to "tire" of her and doesn't hardly want to hold her at all. As we were getting ready to leave, he did hold her for about 30 seconds. I sense there might be some jealousy cropping up. I think it might be something that only time and some extra hugs will handle.

My Future's So Bright, I Gotta' Wear Shades

2008-06-03T01:23:00.000-07:00

When we arrived today, one of the mom's that is here visiting her son gave Ellie a gift -- the above baby sunshades. What a funny sight she was and we all laughed. Funny thing is, she apparently liked them. The sun is bright and she'll close her eyes if we walk in the sun. We looked and she had her eyes open behind the shades.

Josh thought she was funny looking too, with her big glasses and pacifier. Sharon, those glasses remind me of the ones you used to wear! ;-) (sorry, couldn't resist!!)

Then Josh, ever the clown, tried them on for some poses.

Ellie's belly was feeling much better today. They've reduced the formula a bit and at the end of the day, she ate like her normal champion self. I've been noticing that her cheeks are getting big. Allison, I think you might have a run for your money on the baby with the biggest chipmunk cheeks pretty soon. :-)

This is her smiling for the camera and starting her "pageant" wave.

Then, we were told we could come back and watch her get her massage. Apparently, for the next 30 days, she will get baby massage. Now, I'll be real honest, I was a bit jealous - a massage every day for 30 days. What woman wouldn't want that. I wish you could have heard this baby moaning and squeaking as the was getting her massage. :-) It was SO FUNNY. We videoed a bit of it so the grandparents will be able to see when we get home. Of COURSE, if anyone else wants to see when we get home, we COULD host a viewing (ha ha!).

Isn't this precious?
First the feet and legs.
I LOVE this picture!!
Lift the "tooshie" -- building some ab muscles.
Over for the back side.

Shoulder rubs
This is the one I call the "AHHHHH" pose. She has her hands out to the side and looks to be so relaxed.

Working on her leg muscles to help her stand.

Helping her work on sitting up.
And, after it was all over, a nice warm bottle. Note the slits, she was just near toast at this point.

I swear I left her sighing in her crib. :-)

So, we had a great visit today. I saw several more babies that will be going home before Ellie does. They were all doing well. The caregivers really love the babies here.

"It's probably her new formula"

2008-06-02T03:40:00.000-07:00

This morning we received a call from Aliya, our interpreter, who told us that Ludmilla, our coordinator, had talked with the orphanage director about our concerns about Ellie from Sunday. Tatiana indicated that they had indeed changed Ellie's formula to the kind we brought and that because of it, she didn't need to take as much. She was at 90 ml (about 3 oz) every three hours. We were told that with this formula, initially, she won't need as much. I'm wondering exactly what she was on before.

Based on some reading that indicates a good rule of thumb is 2.5 ounces per baby's weight, E. would need about 16 ounces a day. So, she probably was getting about 24 ounces a day, but likely not full strength formula. Based on her age, though, this was about right.

I was told not to worry that she would be fine. I hope when we visit tomorrow we will find that her upset tummy is soothing and she is adjusting better to her new formula.

The Princess doesn't seem to feel well

2008-06-01T03:21:00.000-07:00

I can't put my finger on it, but I don't think "The Princess" felt well today. She had her eyes open a large part of the time we were with her, but she was fussy, had the hiccups, burped (yes, she can!!), didn't want a pacifier and didn't seem to want to eat.

Today we didn't have our interpreter or coordinator with us. We had the routine down so when we got there, I went to her room. The caregiver made a motion for me to wait a bit. When she came out with her, she was awake and she had the hiccups.

We went out to the covered shelter area and visited with her a while and took some photos. She did a good job of looking at us and seemed fascinated with Kevin. She wouldn't take her eyes of him when he held her. She wasn't quite so into Josh or I today, for some reason. During one period she was quite fussy and then let out a burp leading me to believe that maybe her tummy isn't feeling so well. Ironically, I awoke with an upset stomach. I took some Pepto this morning and it's better but still doesn't feel just "right". We've thought about what I might have eaten, but I haven't eaten anything different from Kevin or Josh. It's much better, but at one point this morning, I was concerned about getting to go to visit.

We did notice that she had exceptional head strength today holding her head up and looking around by herself. She was griping our fingers so hard at one point that the tips of her fingers were white. She also has seemed to have some difficulty getting her left eye (right if you are facing her) open as wide as the other. Not sure about that. It might be normal, but we'll want to check on it for sure.

And so, while in all these photos she seems "fine" and "happy", there were so many more that she didn't, including the one where, after she ate just a bit she spit it all back out. I tried to get her to eat (and she is a champion eater), and she just wouldn't. I finally gave up and took it to the caregiver to tell her she wouldn't eat. The caregiver only speaks Russian, I think, but she took her and was talking to her calling her, get this, "Princess". :-) Her bottle wasn't as hot as normal, and I'm not sure, if with our recent formula purchase if she has a different kind or more or something. I just got the feeling she didn't feel well.

So... now I'm a bit anxious about not visiting tomorrow. It might be best, though, to not get her up and stirring about. I'll be sure to talk with Aliya tomorrow when E. and B. go over and see if she can check on her and report back.

After the orphanage, we went "sight-seeing" but I'll cover that on my other blog.

Interestingly enough, while we were there today, the U.S. Airforce servicemen and women were there bringing donations. Kevin spent a while talking to some of them. It was SO COOL to be able to talk English with them. :-) They brought a great deal of things for the orphanage. It's so cool to see another side of the military that doesn't often get portrayed back home.

We also got to me K's hubby and daughter and spend more time with K, K and I and their babies. I know that I will be forever connected with these moms that I met in an orphanage on the other side of the world and will want to continue to follow the blossoming of their children once we all get home!

Another Trip to Tokmok

2008-05-31T00:59:00.000-07:00

Today we had another visit with Ellie. Our driver, Victor, must have thought our pick up time was 9:30 as he was late. Aliya, Elizabeth and Bill went on ahead, which we were fine with. It sprinkled on the way there and we were concerned it might rain.

We took her some formula, a couple of pacifiers and a photo book of us for her crib. She was asleep during our entire visit today. She did take to her new pacifier. When I went in to meet with Tatiana to see if we had any questions (we don't right now), she said yesterday (when we weren't allowed to visit), she went in around our visitation time, and Ellie was crying. She picked her up and took her outside to walk around and she stopped. When she put her back down, she cried again. I think that's a good sign she either likes us or likes the attention.

Apparently, the little peanut is already getting spoiled. When she comes home, I'm going to get a sling to wear her for a long time. Of course, if Josh is home, I'll have to fight for her. If Kevin is there, I suppose it will be a three way fight. We might have to resort to rock-paper-scissors to see who gets to hold her. Do you think she'll be spoiled????

Speaking of spoiled, I got an email from my friend Carla who indicates she has gotten her a BOX of clothes ranging in size from 3-18 months. I suspect you may never see the girl in the same outfit either. Since she wears the same one for several days in a row here, that will be a change for her, I suppose. She is always clean, however, and the clothing is not stained. I truly feel they take very good care of the children here.

We also got to give her her bottle today. She slurped it down quickly but this girl DOES NOT burp. Other adoptive parents who are there say that their babies don't either. I think they are getting the food so quickly, there just aren't any air bubbles. Josh, ever the good brother, even tried showing her how it was done. :-)

Speaking of other adoptive parents, it has been so nice spending time with I, K and now K (from Nashville, too). I can't post names right now as there is some sort of "thing" going on (that we all think is crazy). I can't elaborate any more than that, even on a private blog, at this time. BUT... we really are enjoying putting faces to the names of people we've emailed with for so long. I've LOVED getting to love on their babies as well.

Anyway... enough of all that, here's what you really came for -- your Ellie photo fix. Please note, if you will, that her outfit today (picked out by and belonging to the orphanage is an ELLIE-Phant!! Do we need any more confirmation that this peanut belongs in our family??).

(yes, she is peeking out at me as I rub her head!)

She almost had her eyes open here, but I guess it was too much to do.

Love the bunny ears on the elephant outfit. She looked like a little pink bear in it. When she gets frustrated from us trying to switch "holders" or from us really trying to wake us up, she arches her back, makes these funny faces and makes a grunting noise.

We were also told today that we should do everything we can to make sure Kevin is the person who returns with me. One parent will need to stay with the baby when official government appointments are held. Aliya indicated that while they would stay with the baby it would be better if Kevin could come. We also realized that our I171H is in HIS name and so in order to get her paperwork done, HE has to be the one who appears. So.... it looks like we are going to have Kevin come back. We have a few options in mind for Joshua, but nothing worked out as we have to ask around. He's not upset as we have talked to him about it. He's hoping that sometime while we are gone, he'll get to go fishing with his DeeDee. Somehow, that makes everything ok. We are not sure about Kevin's vacation yet and will have to check on that and/or sick leave to make sure he has enough time, but apparently, it is a have-to situation. I did have an offer from my friend Jennifer to travel with me and we were working on the details when this came about.

We are hoping to go back to the Metro this afternoon for dinner. We are needing our American fix. While we love our visitation time with Ellie, this is a LONG time to be in a hotel room and in a different country. We hope, when we leave, we will be back in about 8 weeks (56 days, but who's counting??). We should get Ellie the day after we arrive and she will be with us from then on. We anticipate she will go before the court system here the week of June 30. After court, it is a 30 day waiting period, followed by 1-2 weeks to get her passport, and then we will return.

So tomorrow after our visit, our drivers are taking us (along with Elizabeth and Bill) up to Barann Tower(spelling???) in the mountains. This is where we had planned to go earlier with others until we were told we couldn't. That's another story too. *sigh* There have been some challenging moments here.

Oh, and we were told that starting Monday, Ellie will have massage time every day. We are to buy her some baby oil (I'd really rather not use baby oil as it's made from petroleum, but what's the other options here??) for her daily massage. This will hopefully help her build muscle tone and work her muscles as well. NOW.. they are going to do this 8-9, she gets a bottle at 9 and then we arrive at 10. Do you think after a massage and warm bottle she's going to wake up for us? I wouldn't!! :-)

That's all for today folks. Continue to remember us in prayers. We need them daily.

Thursday's Visit

2008-05-29T01:22:00.000-07:00

Another great visit with "The Princess" today. Every day she comes out of her shell more. When I went back to pick her up, she began to open her eyes almost immediately. By the time I got out to Kevin and Josh, she was "talking". Now.... for some reason the photos came out blurry today. I'm so disappointed because they are TOO FUNNY. But, I'm going to post them anyway. The grandparents need their fix.

OH... it's you again. I know you!
You make me smile.
How have you been? Have you been keeping the parents in line?
HA!HA! I didn't think so.
OH MY GOODNESS, you brought me diapers and vitamins? That's so great!

Oh, look, it's my mama!
She's talking that funny talk to me.

She sure smiles a lot at me.

OH, what is this?? Oh, it's all those kisses from all those people who said, "Give her kisses from me." I think she got all my kisses.

Hey, I liked that, do that some more -- I'll pucker!

AND THEN, she started sucking on my finger. We asked Aliya if we could have a pacifier. They brought one out that was HUGE, but she didn't care, she took to it and wouldn't take it out of her mouth until time to eat. She LOVED IT!!! Josh thought it was funny that it was like a suction cup in her mouth. He'd give it a tug and she'd suck harder. She wasn't letting it go!

Ahhh... yes.

Tiny tootsies!
We were allowed to feed her today. This girl eats like a champion. 100 ml in less than five minutes.

After lunch, sleeping on daddy's chest. Isn't that a peaceful look?

And so... another day is passed. We don't get to see her tomorrow but are going to the mountains for a little "day trip". We will be back to see her Saturday and Sunday. I'm taking her a smaller pacifier, that's for sure.

Second Day's Visit

2008-05-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

What a treat "The Princess" was today. When we arrived, she was partially awake and by the time I got her out to Kevin and Joshua, she was beginning to open her eyes. I swear our first picture of her (although blurry) shows her smiling!! She opened her eyes for us and then let out a belting cry!! She settled down pretty quickly while we walked with her. She definitely has a temper (yay, right?).

We met with the director to get her story and her medical information and that went well. We were told that we could visit extra days this week. We will get to see her Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, skip Monday and then Tuesday through Saturday. We were very happy to hear that news!!

We finalized our paperwork and will sign a power of attorney on Friday so someone can represent us in court.

As noon drew near, she began to stir again and get cranky. It became VERY obvious she was hungry and we took her back to the baby room. The caregiver there took off a lot of her layers, including blanket and hat and her eyes popped wide open and she was just full of herself. The caregiver told Aliya that she was a "spitfire" and let everyone know when she was hungry.
We were told she needed some type of German vitamin which we stopped with Ludmilla and Aliya to get on the way back. Tomorrow we stop to buy her some diapers. Other than that, we are good -- for now.

We were excited to get to meet Ivy and Karen today who were there visiting their sweet babies! We were also given an opportunity to deliver a package of goodies to Gen's missionary friends here and they came by the hotel today just as we were set to walk to the Metro. They kindly offered to drive us there. They were such fun people and we hope to be able to bring them some things when we return as well as to spend some more time with them. Imagine, coming all the way around the world, finding one of the few Christians in the country and getting to spend time with them -- definitely a God-orchestrated thing! We are so thankful that we met them!

So, I'm sure all you want are more photos. Here are some of her more expressive photos (and some hair pix for Betsy!!):

I'm not bragging or anything, since I had NOTHING to do with it, but isn't she the most beautiful little girl you have ever seen? I can't say she's the most beautiful baby, because, after all, I have a little man who was once a baby too and he was pretty darned handsome, but since she's a girl I can say that. We just SO want to bring her home NOW!!!

A few more photos

2008-05-26T13:26:00.000-07:00

Nothing really new to write about our visit yesterday, but a couple more photos. Josh took a photo of Ellie's head in my hand to give you some perspective of how small she really is.

This is the first photo of Kevin and I with her:

This is her right after I came out of the baby room with her:

And this is Joshua, peeking under her hat to see her hair:

She has the most delicious little cheeks, nose and mouth.

"Meetcha" Day

2008-05-26T01:52:00.000-07:00

This morning we were up early (time is all screwed up for us) and were ready to go when our translator, coordinator and drivers arrived to take us to Tokmok.

The drive was a little over an hour and I soaked up all the sights and culture that I could. There were several things that struck me as we traveled along to Tokmok. There are lots of animals, but no fences -- anywhere. There are also no lines on the road as you get out of the city of Bishkek. It's pretty much drive anywhere you like as long as you don't hit anyone else.

The country area is poor, but so beautiful with their fields and animals and snow capped mountains on one side and hillsides on the other. Our driver, Vladimir, tried to tell us some things (in Russian) and we were able to pick out some things, mainly from reading about other's experiences from the Kyrg yahoo list. There are a lot of people on the sides of the road and there is a strong smell of exhaust pretty much every where. Lots of kids out playing with no apparent supervision. Farmers working in the fields are abundant the further out you get. Their homes are mishmash "put-together-what-you-have" homes. It's very different from where we live. I took a bunch of photos along the way and will share a few here. Mainly I want Ellie to have a nice visual reference of the country from where she came -- even if it's just the road from Bishkek to Tokmok.

When we got to the orphanage, they took me right away to the baby room where they pointed out Aimana. My first thought was, "This isn't her." I checked the name and the birth date and they matched but I was just not prepared for how very tiny she is. When I asked her weight, they checked the latest numbers and told us 2.9 kgs, which converts to 6.4 pounds. They then told me they would wrap her up and let me take her outside. Imagine my surprise to know that I would get to show her to Joshua!! Just a reminder from God that He is still in the prayer answering business as this is something I gave over to Him. We weren't expecting to be able to as we were told he would not be allowed to see her due to her small size. She is so tiny and so light and so delicate. A couple of days ago, she scraped her eyelid and there is a small red mark there. She has long fingers and tiny, tiny hands. We managed to get a while alone with her, sitting outside and got her hat off so we could see her hair. It's dark and has some wave to it. Very cute!!! We never got her to open her eyes. We tried blowing on her, calling her, moving her around. We thought we were close once, but she just went back to sleep. Since she was a preemie, we are thinking she just needs more sleep. She had some rapid eye movement (REM) going on so we think she was in a deep sleep.

We were told that we would not be able to sit down and talk with the director/doctor today as her office was being remodeled/painted but that we would be able to do that on our next visit on Wednesday.

Joshua seems totally enamoured by her. He got to hold her with us holding underneath and he just touched her and talked about how tiny she was. He got really upset when he thought we were saying she couldn't open her eyes. He said, "Is she blind?" He almost cried.

As luck would have it, our batteries died while we were there. We managed to get quite a few photos, however. We were told it might be better to wait on the video for now. For those of you waiting for photos of your babies, we did not ask today since it was the first day. We will wait until a couple more visits when they feel comfortable with us and then ask Aliya to snap them for you.

We are now back in the hotel. We've walked back over the Beta Store and got more sodas and water. I am HUNGRY and there is really no where to go right now. Elizabeth and Bill are going with us for dinner to the American Pub and Grill. We hear the food there is good. I hope so. I'm certain to overeat. :-) Breakfast this morning was ok. There is a "buffet" (not like the U.S., really) and we had ham, olives, pickles, bread with butter and jam, tea and juice. There were some other items, but I didn't have a clue what they were so I didn't try it.

So, you don't want to hear so much about what we are or are not eating, so here are a few photos of "The Princess"

Here!!

2008-05-25T07:54:00.000-07:00

CHECK OUT LINKS TO THE RIGHT TO KEVIN AND JOSH'S TRIP BLOGS Josh gives some, um, interesting insights into our trip.

I've never been so tired in my entire life.

What a perfect sentence to begin this post. :-) I'm so glad I started this private blog as you all are going to read some really "raw" emotions and impressions here. This is not information I feel would be appropriate for a public blog.

I'm not sure where the last update was here -- truth is, I'm not sure what DAY it is here or the date. We did just talk to my parents via Skype and they told us it was still Sunday there, so it must be Sunday night here. :-) It's just beginning to get dark and we just got a call from Aliya, our translator, reminding us to be ready for pick up at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow. After all this travel, we will finally meet "The Princess".

So, I'll back up. We left Nashville on a plane that you wind up with a rubber band. No, seriously, though, it was a three seater and smaller than I suspected it would be. A little less than two hours later, we arrived in Washington, D.C. where we realized it was late afternoon on a Friday of Memorial Day weekend in the nation's capital. Can you say BUSY?? We managed to use the restroom, get Josh a couple of magazines, eat a Subway and then a man we met from flight one, who is also traveling to Kyrgyzstan told us they were boarding the plane. So much for snacks.
We flew on a 767 from Washington to London. Our original seats were separated with Josh and I sitting on the side and Kevin by himself in the rear. Fortunately, his seatmates didn't show up so we moved to the back. It was nice to be able to have to seats to stretch into the aisle. There were several movie choices and the Disney Channel for Josh so we did pretty well until we decided Josh needed to sleep. HAHA. Those of you who know Josh know he's not a small child (but then, no one in our family is small!) so he tried to stretch out across both of us. We tried it for a while, but he wasn't sleepy and was wiggling so we gave that up. I think, maybe, during that 7.5 hour flight, we all might have each slept an hour. We ate dinner on the plane -- Josh got chicken and fries with some applesauce and juice and maybe cookies -- yes, lemon cookies. I absolutely don't remember what we had. Kevin's down with Josh in the pool so I'll have to ask later. Kevin just reminded me, we had a salad and ravioli. It was really good. We were also served breakfast of fruit cup and banana nut loaf. All very good food on United.

When we arrived in London, we got off the plane on the GROUND and walked to a bus where we were transported to Terminal 1. We decided we were supposed to go to Terminal 4 (as I had somehow, in my mind, decided we were flying British Air -- nope!). After clearing security in that terminal, we were told we needed to be in Terminal 2. So, another 10 minute bus ride and we were in the right terminal. Josh, at this time, decided he was hungry. We stopped at the Giraffe restaurant and ordered BLTs. Josh had a kids' smoothie and Kevin had coffee and I had tea. Imagine our surprise when, after converting our money, it was $51. I think we'll skip food in London next time. They did have a toy store with wooden toys that I'd like to purchase some of for Ellie. The toy prices were actually pretty reasonable compared to the same things in the States. Maybe on the trip back through. I paid for us to hook up to the internet and updated my regular blog and was literally falling asleep while I typed. Kevin and Josh were walking around. We met up with Elizabeth and Bill there and they went to eat. I told Kevin I had to lay down on the seats there. I slept for an HOUR and don't remember anything. In London, gates are not announced until 30 minutes prior to flights. After we got our gate assignment, we sat and I watched the people who were going to board the plane. Most of them were Asian, and probably lived in Kyrgyzstan so I was excited to study them (people watching at it's finest). A mom, her baby and her mom came up and I was in HEAVEN as the baby looked to be about the same age as Ellie. One thing I noticed there and on the plane was that many of those people I was "watching" had the same lips as Ellie. Crazy, yes!

The flight to Bishkek was slated to be 8.5 hours. I don't have a clue how long it took. We stopped in Almaty to let some folks off and then it was another 30 minutes on to Bishkek. This plane was a 757 and had only one movie choice. Josh fell flat out asleep as soon as we took off. This was from the boy who was "NOT tired" :-) We had dinner. I had some sort of beef tips in horseradish sauce with onions and peppers with a side of sweet potatoes. Kevin had curried veggies in rice (I tasted it and did NOT like it). Josh got some grilled chicken, mashed potatoes and carrots with peas. He wouldn't eat it and told us he was "not hungry". I knew it was the peas and carrots. We scooped out them and he ate a bite or two but didn't eat a lot. We each tried to sleep off and on but didn't get much sleep there either. I watched Bucket List. Kevin, Josh and I watched parts of National Treasure 2, but we'd all seen it before so we just watched parts of it.

After we landed, we went to the visa department and got our papers ready to turn in there. Visas were $35 each. After we got our visas, we proceeded to customs. We were a bit concerned because the guy, who did not speak English, kept looking at Kevin's passport and him and shaking his head no, like he was thinking this was not him. He looked at mine and Joshua's and finally sent us on through. We moved over to get our bags and after all of us, including Elizabeth and Bill, got our luggage, we proceeded to customs. We waited and finally someone came out. I asked if she spoke English and she said, "Some. Little." We asked if we needed to declare anything. She said No, but we knew we needed to declare our cash since we had heard that if we didn't and left with cash, we might not be able to leave with it. Finally, we got someone who could translate and we got forms, filled them out, and got them stamped. Then, basically, all hell broke loose.

We exited the baggage area and saw at least 15 people standing there. I had forgotten to tell Josh and Kevin that there would be lots of people trying to take our baggage so they could get the tips. Josh let someone take one of our carts and I went and took it back saying, "Nyet, nyet". It's the ONLY word I know in Russian and I have found it's the most important word here. :-) There was a man with a placard with our name on it, "Mr. Charles Latham". Elizabeth and Bill had someone else with their name. We were trying to get our luggage gathered and I heard Elizabeth say, "Bill, I don't know who that is taking our luggage." About that time a woman walked up and said, "Excuse me, could I talk to you a minute?" and I'm thinking, "Great, we are going to jail (haha!). Praise the LORD, it was Aliya, our translator. She asked if we had ordered a car from Silk Road Lodge and I told her no, we were expecting them to pick us up. She did have a car and driver there, but because both we and our travel mates had SO MUCH luggage (really, folks, most of it is donations!!), she said it was fine to go with Silk Road guy and, "It is safe." That's really all I needed to hear. It was dark and people were talking in a language I didn't know and I just wanted to leave there. Today, when she called, she said it was a bit much for her too as there were a LOT of people there. So, I put Josh in the van, got in myself and Kevin hopped in. We knew there were guys helping Mr. Silk Road with our luggage, but we weren't tipping them as we had not asked them. GO Mr. Silk Road who got into some big discussion with them. Now, I don't speak Russian, but I KNOW he pretty much told him to bug off. Some things don't have to be translated. :-) We drove to our hotel and it was beginning to get light. We could see the outline of the mountains in the distance. Josh was a bit shaken by the airport ordeal, but calmed down a bit during the 15 +/- drive there. I could tell, even in the dark, that this country is poor. But, in their defense, there isn't anything, so far, that I wouldn't see in some of the areas that I work in inner city Nashville. The difference, as far as I can tell so far, is that there isn't an affluent area.

We arrived at the hotel, got checked in, Elizabeth and Bill arrived and our luggage was hauled upstairs. Unsure if we should or should not tip, we did. Mr. Silk Road, got $10 and Mr. Carried our Luggage Up" got $5 USD. Someone should address tipping protocol here in the manuals sent out to us. Anyway... our room is fine. It's a bit like maybe a Days Inn/Howard Johnson, but the bathroom was clean and that's important to me. We were told breakfast was at 7:30 and so Kevin fell out on the bed, Joshua started watching Nickelodeon in Russian (see, it doesn't matter what the language is, he'll watch ANYTHING) and I sat in the chair and fell asleep immediately. Josh woke us up at what we thought was 7:30 and we went downstairs. We were told it was another 40 minutes until breakfast so we came back upstairs and I could not TELL you what happened next because when I woke up some NINE HOURS later, Josh and Kevin were both asleep as well. It was 4:00 here when we woke up. Kevin had fallen asleep in the bed in his SHOES.

We all showered and went down to find out about internet access. While we were asking where Elizabeth and Bill were, Bill came downstairs. They had been up, had breakfast, lunch and gotten their internet hooked up and went to the store. Didn't we feel like some serious slackers????
Kevin had gone downstairs to the restaurant to wait on us, and SURPRISE, they just brought him a beer and put it on the table. When we told him we were going over to the restaurant at the Beta store, he was required to pay for the beer. We don't even DRINK beer. I've now taught him "NYET". :-) And then, to the Beta store we went. We went to the restaurant that Bill and Elizabeth told us about in search of burgers and fries. EVERYONE stared at us as we walked along. :-) Might have been that 1) we were American; 2) we were in shorts/capris (me) and it didn't seem many were; 3) we looked lost. :-) We found the Beta store and the restaurant. We ordered. We began to eat. I think we have different palates. I was NOT going to be the person who complained about the food. I tried to eat it and talked to Joshua about the importance of "getting along" and "being a guest" in another country. Finally, I noticed, neither he or Kevin were eating their sandwiches either. I can't put a finger on it -- it wasn't really "bad", it just made my stomach feel queasy. We finally gave up, finished our Coke light, got the bill (470 soms = $12.98), left a tip (do you TIP here??) and left. We went to the store to get water (to brush my teeth - YUK and drink), Coke light, bread and jelly. We have peanut butter. I suspect we might loose weight (or can you live on Jelly Bellies??) while we are here unless we find some more food sources. Total bill, 270 soms = $7.45 for three liter bottles of water, six bottles Coke light, one loaf bread, 1 jar jelly -- seems reasonable. I have to trot over to exchange money in the store and Kevin had given me a $20 that had a tear. ARGHHH. So we exchange $100.

We walked back, got our internet hooked up and I set up Skype. Skype is the cheapest thing we've had since we left. A call to both our parents, for a little over 45 minutes was $1.28. WHOO HOOO. So if you all get calls from us later in the week and we won't hang up, it's because it's such a bargain. :-)

I'm so ready to meet "The Princess" and to hold her, touch her and talk with the orphanage director/doctor to see if there are medical things we need to know about/discuss, etc.
I have made a couple of statements to Kevin telling him I will NOT come back here by myself. I just can't juggle all that I need to, be as tired as I was and be handed over a new baby. Call me a wimp, but now that I've made the initial trip, I can't see me doing it by myself. We will do what we have to, but I can't do it by myself. The other thing is that I'm so glad that we are bringing Ellie to the U.S. While I know that had she lived here, this would have been the "normal" she was used to and that, by nothing but the grace of God was I born in the U.S., I would not want to live here. As I looked out my window this afternoon, there was a woman just a piece away doing her laundry with a hose pipe and some rubber tubs. She had a little girl, maybe 2 or so, with her. When she turned around, I saw that she was pregnant. She looked so young. I saw the run-down house she walked back to. This could have been Ellie's mom -- not literally, of course, but her life. How very hard these people have it here. We are such a blessed country and so awfully unappreciative. It was hard for me to go back into the bathroom and use $15 Oil of Olay moisturizer and think of what we were paying to stay in this hotel after seeing her.

I can't begin to imagine how I will feel when I meet this bundle of sweetness. I feel like this country, where I am a guest, is giving me a huge present. I can't imagine how to thank them.
All the positive and negative are part of the experience, one I will not get the chance to ever repeat so I continue to value each day and each experience and each moment, trying to memorize the images of each day and each event so one day, I can re-live them for Ellie. I know how important her story will be to her one day. Sadly, I know that if her country were not so poor, her birthmom might have been able to keep her.

In less than 12 hours, I will see my daughter. What a long wait it has been to touch a dream, a promise from God. Oh, and interesting tidbit. In the Bible, God made a promise to Noah and used the rainbow as a symbol to remind Noah of His promise. Thursday night, at the ballfield, there was a DOUBLE rainbow over our park. I have not seen a rainbow in years. God has fulfilled His promise to us. What a blessing!

Our hotel, Silk Road Lodge

Woman washing clothes
Mom and daughter - washing clothes (from hotel window)

Mom talking to daughter

Daughter helps carry tubs back home

Kevin and Josh enter the hotel room
Our bedroom
View from hotel
View from hotel (someone's home)

"I'm not tired" Josh
Diet Pepsi in tiny cans from airplane
Kevin and I watching National Treasure 2

Kevin, after a LONG flight (haha) with Josh and "Kitty"

Airport in Almaty

Kevin and Josh in "Central Park"
The van we came to the hotel in

New Photo

2008-05-19T19:44:00.000-07:00

A mom who just returned from Kyrgyzstan sent me a few new photos of Ellie. I LOVE her lips; they are SO cute. My mom wants to kiss them to pieces. She might have to get in line after me, Kevin and (maybe) Josh. Is she not just THE CUTEST baby you have ever seen? And, in just a few days, I will get to see her myself!

Frustrated!!

2008-05-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

Let me start by saying I really LOVE my agency and it's staff. I think they are TOPS and that they work very hard doing what they do and I am not posting this against them. I'm just frustrated!!

Back four years ago, when we decided to adopt, we included Joshua in the process and the decision. When we lost our little girl Hannah when her birthmom changed her mind, Joshua's heart hurt as much as ours did. When we sent our dossier for China, we bought Josh books about China and he went around telling everyone about water buffaloes and how rice was grown. He prays for his sister, he talks about his sister and now that we have the referral, he is so worried about how this is going to change his "I've been the only child for ten years" status in our family. He has reverted, somewhat, to a younger age, wanting his mom to hug and snuggle and to not leave him. We've had so many people ask why we are spending the extra money to take him with us on the trip and we've explained that the reasons are two-fold. One, he is a part of our family; this is as much his experience as it is ours. We are adding to our family and his life is impacted by that. The second reason is that we want him to get to experience another country while he is still young and impressionable. We want him to experience life outside the "good ole" U.S. We want him to know that the life he leads is not all there is and that others don't live that way. We want him to have an opportunity to work with a missionary in a foreign country. These experiences and exposure will make his life richer. There is also the reason that he has never been away from us for that long. When he was three, we went to a conference in Hawaii for four or five days, but he doesn't remember that. Kevin and I have always worked our schedules so that someone is always home for Josh. He can do a night or two away, but definitely NOT 16.

I asked very early on if it would be a problem for him to go along and was told it wouldn't. And, I suppose, they aren't saying it will now. BUT... I got an email today saying that he will not be allowed in the orphanage and that he will not be allowed to see or hold Ellie due to her being so tiny. And, of course, they pointed out, someone will have to stay with him (DUH!) and so we might consider that since our time with the baby will be limited. *sigh* I refuse to choose one over the other. So... Kevin and I are going to pray about it and ask that you do as well. We are hopeful, that like others who are there now, we will be able to take Ellie out into the sun and the courtyard and Josh will be able to interact with her them. I fully understand that they want to keep the little babies healthy and protect them from germs as disease must spread quickly in an orphanage, my heart is aching over this information. I am certain God is bigger than this and that it will work out.

On a better note, to celebrate our pending departure, I ordered Chinese at the hotel tonight. I'm about to open my fortune cookies, so let me share. OH MY... I promise I didn't read them first. They say:

Things are not always what they seem. It's not that bad.
and
Your magnetic personality will draw people to you this month.

Haha!

I remember a fortune cookie Josh got right after we logged in our dossier in China. it said, Your next trip will be overseas. Well, it has been a while, but Josh hasn't been on a "big trip" in a while, so I suppose that was true!

BTW, scroll down and look at those beautiful pix of my little "burrito". My friend Michelle has nicknamed her this and it is perfect. She's wrapped up tight!! By this time next week, I'll be on a plane to see her -- HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???? :-)

Train is moving TOO FAST

2008-05-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

I came home from church tonight to an email indicating that our travel dates have been set. We are leaving May 23rd and will be in Kyrgyzstan from May 25-June 8. Can someone tell me how I'm going to get back to Atlanta, inspect 350 homes, enter 625 inspections, buy luggage, pack, arrange pet/house care, get papers together including updated medicals and police clearance letters, GET THE USCIS TO SEND MY I171H (yes, I'm yelling), and be ready to leave in, oh 10 days????? There is also Field Day and Graduation at school. I don't have my "new and clean" money yet. It is due to come in on the Thursday before we leave on Friday. Hmmmppff. Be careful what you ask for -- you just might get it all (ironically, this is a line from Daughtery's hit, "Home"). DELEGATE!!! That's it!!

So... pray for the following things for our family now, if you will:

1. Patience with each other during a high stress time
2. Energy to do all we need to do
3. Good health
4. Safe travel
5. My mom and dad and Kevin's mom, who I know will worry while we are gone
6. Joshua, who is experiencing a LOT of changes going on around him and isn't quite sure, still, where he fits in
7. Ellie, that God will continue to keep her safe and loved while we are coming to meet her and in the days until we can return to pick her up for good!!

I've been absolutely AMAZED today at all the kind words and well wishes. I cannot TELL you how many there have been, and we are SO blessed to have so many caring friends and family all around the world who are loving us and sharing this excitement with us. It is as big a blessing as Ellie herself. Thank each of you so much for your kind words and for caring for us!

REFERRAL!!!!! Meet our Ellie

2008-05-14T08:18:00.000-07:00

This post is about yesterday (Tuesday), but I was too spent to post last night.

Today I was travelling back to Georgia to finish up my project work for State Farm. I spent a good deal of time in prayer pouring out my heart to God (like Hannah) about my desires for a referral before the delegates come to the States. I asked God specifically if He could give us a referral this week so we could travel by the end of the month instead of having to wait until July.

I stopped to get gas and popped into a Dollar Tree and left my phone in the car. I didn't see any missed calls when I came back out, but I think my battery had died so I plugged it in to charge. A bit later, while checking my email, I saw a message from our agency that they had left me a phone message and could I please call them. I almost had a heart attack. I called back and both Brent and Joyce were on the phone (ARGHH!) and I left a message. I could barely drive after that. When they called back (they were both on the line), I said, "Let's just cut to the chase and tell me if this is "THE CALL" so I can pull over and have a heart attack." They laughed and Brent said, "Yes, it was "THE CALL" so I pulled over into a Shell parking lot and listened as I got the word of our new daughter. We spent a while on the phone going over her particulars and I tried not to get all weepy so I could pay attention and take good notes to share with Kevin.

As soon as we hung up, I called him and told him we have a daughter!!! and shared all the details with him. I went over to a McDonalds and had to go to the bathroom and as we discussed our options for looking at the photo, sharing this with Joshua and our families, it became apparent that I would just have to come home. As I told my mom, "Sometimes you just have to go home." So, four hours there, four hours back. I know God was with me on that trip back because I did NOT have enough time to get back before it was time for Joshua to be at his ballgame and yet, I made it -- by the skin of my teeth. We had agreed, Kevin and I, that if we got the referral when we were apart, we would wait to see the photos until we were together. Had I known.... maybe I wouldn't have made that agreement.

She is absolutely beautiful. Her photos appear to be from birth which is a HUGE blessing in that she will never have to wonder what she looked like when she was born. She is tiny, tiny. She is in the orphanage now and since we have some friends who are there and are going to take photos of her for us. Stay tuned for photos next week when they return.

SO, you don't want to read what I have to write, you want to see photos. SO... Meet our little Ellie!!

Monday Update

2008-05-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

I made my "Monday morning wake-up" call to our agency today and know exactly nothing more than I did before. ARGHHH!!!

I was told the agency is not able to contact the folks in country due to the rolling "Brown Outs" which are basically blackouts to conserve energy in country. I know this has been happening as I have heard this from families who are currently in country. She indicated they have not been able to confirm travel arrangements for the in-country staff who are coming to visit in June. I told her that I knew if we didn't travel prior to May 30, we would not be able to travel until the end of June/first of July and she confirmed that we would need to get a referral and travel prior to then, but that they cannot confirm what's going on in country due to the inability to make contact with them.

I asked if she got any tidbits or even hints of any referrals, if she would call me and give me just a bit of hope.

I'm having a really hard time of this right now. We've waited for almost four years and the last four months have been absolutely the hardest of the entire wait. Position 1 is not the glory place it appears to be. It's a double-edged sword -- you are so excited to be next, but when the wait it long, it is so hard. When I see her face and hold her, I'm certain it will be all worth it, but right now -- oh, so hard.

So, I'm back off to Georgia tomorrow. Lots of hard work will keep me busy.

Calendar Review

2008-05-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

I don't know if you can see the calendar to the left. It's there for your reference so you can understand my "logic" about when I think we'll get our referral. Can you tell I think about this too much??? I'm too much of a "planner" to not try to work this out in my mind. If you could see my "real" calendar ...

Ok... so the folks from Kyrgyzstan (our in-country coordinator, director of the orphanage and a judge from Tokmok) are coming to the states June 16-23 for a visit with our agency and families who are home with their children.

Travel to Kyrgyzstan is for 16 days. Families leave on Friday and return two Sundays later. Families that are currently there will be home around the 18th of May. There are two families leaving this week to pick up their babies (Trip 2), and those trips are normally 10 days so they should be home around the time the other families come home, maybe a day or two later.

After receiving a referral, families TYPICALLY travel 10-14 days later. SO.... logic says that the LAST date we could travel and have the delegation still be able to get to the States is May 30. In order to travel by May 30, we would logically have to have a referral no later than May 16-May 20 (10-14 days before travel). Since the families are returning May 18, I'm thinking .... that the referral should come next week. I can't imagine (but then again, what do I know??) that the in-country coordinator would want to be without families from middle of May until she comes here in the middle of June. Maybe she's going to take a vacation -- I'm CERTAIN she deserves one!!

I really need to get a job/life/hobby/"fill in the blank" -- don't you think?

"This Month"

2008-05-05T18:43:00.001-07:00

I caved in and called Brent at AO today. He's always so willing to talk -- even when he can't give me the answers I want. I don't think he quite "gets" my "off" sense of humor yet and probably takes the things I say much more seriously than I mean them. When I asked if I was going to get a referral this year he said, "Well, yes, of course, you are still at the top of the list." :-)

We talked about how I felt things have slowed up with the restructuring and how I didn't think any agencies had had any referrals since it was announced about the restructure. He told me that I could not compare my experience with others who were with other agencies. I told him I wasn't trying to but was wondering if the things going on in Kyrgyzstan were why there weren't any referrals for anyone.

Then he says to me (PLEASE, if you are with another agency DO NOT report this on the yahoo board or reference MY name as the source of this information), "Did I send a memo last week telling you all the Embassy was opened back up?" I said "Uh, no." He indicated things were busy last week and he guessed he didn't get to it. Well.

I asked when we might expect a referral -- his best guess with me not holding him to the wall about it. He said he thought it was reasonable to expect that we will get a referral this month. I should be all "doing the happy dance" about this, but shoot, this month still has 26 more days. Oh well, I keep reminding myself that I trust God to handle my life and that He will do it better than I can or will. And, in that, He has control over when this happens. So.... I'm going to TRY to stop thinking about it and when it happens, it happens.

I'd like to say this is my last post about waiting for my referral and I will not post anymore about it until I get one. BUT.... knowing me, I will so I'd best not make that statement.

SOON!

This week? Next week? When?

2008-05-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

I have a poll on my other blog listing when folks think we might get our referral. The most chosen date is May 5. When we signed up at Adoption Options, we were told 2-4 months for a referral. That window ends May 4.

I'm going to be honest. I don't think we will make either May 4 or 5. I SO wanted to have our referral before Mother's Day. I know it's just a day, but this will be the fourth Mother's Day I've had in the back of my mind, "Maybe next year I'll be a mom to two." Now, don't get me wrong. If I'm never a mother to anyone other than Joshua, it will be enough. He is what makes me a mom, a mother, a mama, a mommy. It is truly all I could ever ask for. But, I do know in my heart there is another child out there who will call me mama. And, I'd just like to see her face before Mother's Day. But, it's a week from today. And I'm just not sure it will happen. My gut tells me it won't. My gut is saying the referral won't come until the week after Mother's Day.

My mom's birthday is May 10. She'd like to get the referral for her birthday. Wouldn't that be cool?

Oh well... I'm whining and that frustrates me, so I'm going to quit. Our referral will come in God's time, not mine, and there is nothing I can do about it. My new favorite word: soon.

Maybe Baby??

2008-04-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

Today, in a bit of a funk about recent news about the restructuring of adoption on Kyrgyzstan (see Small Delay in Adoption Process on my other blog), I decided to call our agency to see what I could glean by talking directly to the director. I really like our agency and our director, Brent. He is so forthcoming with whatever information he can provide.

We spent time talking about what is really going on (housecleaning at the Embassy), how long he thought it would last (his take: two weeks or so) and if referrals would continue during this time. He indicated he didn't think referrals would stop but that folks were busy with trying to work all this out and that it might be a couple of weeks before they had another referral.

THEN, he proceeded to talk to me about how they get the babies for referral and he indicated there is a baby "in the pipeline" right now that the in-country coordinator has told him about that should be ready for referral in a couple of weeks. I said, "So, we could be talking about my baby, right?" He said, "Yes, we could!"

WOW!!! Our Ellie probably has been born!!! How exciting -- and, again, sad for me as a mom. In my heart, I know God will take care of her, but my heart also aches knowing the time I'm missing with her.

So ... maybe in a couple of weeks we can get our referral and the current restructuring in Kyrg will be done and things can go back to normal. The four families with referrals whose travel was cancelled will be able to travel to meet their babies and then we can travel to meet Ellie. God, whose timing is perfect, will hopefully have used this delay to buy us the time we wanted to make sure Josh is through with school before we travel.

HOW EXCITING!!! It was the nugget of hope I needed today to help me "make it through."

Memphis USCIS - What a Joke

2008-04-17T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm glad this blog is private because I am now going to RANT over what a worthless system we have for processing adoption petitions. Ok, so that's a big statement. However, I recently sent an email to the Memphis USCIS who is processing our I171H. We were fingerprinted on March 14. We were told current processing times in Memphis are eight (8) weeks. So... I've been checking the site by entering my tracking number and I continue to get the message that my application can't be found.

So, I decided to send an email. I sent the following:

Greetings!I know you are busy and will keep my request brief. I continue to check online as to the status of our I171H and continue to get a message that we cannot be found in the system. I am following up to see if we actually are in the system and are in process.

We are also interested in finding out how to change the order of the petitioner. My husband was listed as the primary petitioner and I will be traveling back for the second trip to pick up our daughter without him. Is there a way to have our I171H list me as the primary petitioner – without causing a delay in receiving our I171H? We anticipate a referral within the next two – three weeks which is why we are following up on this.

THANK YOU so much for all you are doing!

After giving them our identifying information I just knew I'd get some relevant information back. Here is the email I got from them:

The numbers are still locally generated and therefore not available on line.
Your application is in our office and will be processed as soon as our workload allows.

Thank you,
MEM Adoption Unit

HAHAHAHA -- what does this mean? I think it was a kind way of saying, "Hurry up and wait; we'll get to you when we get to you." They didn't even ADDRESS the issue of changing the primary petitioner. ARGHHH. "As soon as our workload allows" ???? when is that?

I love my government. They are so efficient.

The date we are due to get it is May 9. I suppose I have nothing to do but wait -- something I'm getting REALLY good at!

Hrrrmmpppfff!

WE ARE NUMBER ONE ON THE LIST!!!! Oh My!!!

2008-04-11T20:28:00.001-07:00

I just got the following email from the person who was number one on our agency's list ...

Happy Friday Maria!!You are now officially NUMBER #1I don't have any particulars, just a picture. We're waiting for medical translations.I hope this makes your weekend. You are up next!!!Oh Happy Day!

We are now NUMBER ONE on the list and could get a call ANY TIME!!!!! This family will be travelling to meet their daughter (who is two weeks old) the week of April 25. This moves everything up for us as well!!!

Oh my.... that's all I can say .... Oh my!!!

Setting up our Private Blog

2008-04-09T19:37:00.001-07:00

I feel badly about having to set up a private blog, but according to our agency, the information they share with us often gets distributed among others using other agencies and then they try to use it against them in Kyrgyzstan and it sometimes causes problems with the completion of the adoption process. We CANNOT take the chance that will happen, but want to continue to have a location where we can share information with those of you who have been following this process all along and want to continue to be informed.

This will be the place where you will be able to see photos of our little angel when we get her referral photo, photos from our first trip and details about our adoption. Sadly, we will not be able to share this with everyone until the adoption is complete.

We found out today that we are number two on the agency list. Two people got referrals today. This is only two weeks after the last referrals and those were only two weeks after the last referrals. That being said, we could expect a referral in as little as two weeks. Because our agency is referring babies as young as ONE WEEK OLD (another piece of information that is apparently bothering other agencies and adoptive families), the travel times will not be as quick as we first thought. In Kyrgyzstan, a child cannot go before the court to be placed for adoption until they are three months old. After the court proceedings, there is a 30 day waiting period. Our agency indicates they prefer that families wait until the child is closer to two months old before traveling to keep the time between trips as short as possible (currently 6 weeks). We anticipate our baby will be only a few weeks old when we get the referral and that when we travel (late May, early June), she will be around 2 months old. About two weeks after we return home, our representative will appear in court for us and if everything goes well, our adoption will be approved and after 30 days we will be able to return to pick her up to bring her home. She will be about four months old. What a shame we couldn't bring her home sooner, but the laws are made by the government there and we are really lucky to be able to bring her home as soon as we are and as young as she will be.

So, until there is more news -- or a REFERRAL!!! -- I will leave this site as it is. Thank you for continuing to follow along on our journey!